Here we are then

Alright, here we go I suppose.

After some delay it would appear to be blog time. I’ve been tentatively considering writing one of these since I knew I would be moving to China. I had a few worries, mainly that this would turn into one of those boring circular letters families sometimes send out, dull and droning, to let everyone else know how amazing everything they’ve been doing has been. But then I considered what I found most annoying about those letters.

I think what pisses people off is having someone elses news pushed through their letterbox where it is obviously intended to be drooled and salivated over, whether you want it or not. It’s logistically and metaphysically difficult for me to push this website through your letterbox so I like to think this blog is immediately a few tiers of dickishness below the example above.


I’m gonna try and be as honest as I can about the trip and try and keep my waffling asides, the above paragraph for example, to a minimum. You’re probably here because you want to hear about stuff that’s going on in China, so I’ll try and stick to that sort of thing. I had pretty horrible jetlag for the first week, only sleeping an hour or two a night, which is why I’m a little behind with this. Instead of writing a huge first post I’ll give some quick thoughts and maybe expand on some stories later.

We arrived last Friday, bleary eyed and exhausted. I spent most of the flight trying to figure out how you’re supposed to sleep. It’s a skill I’ve always wanted so I spent a bit of time looking around at how people manage. The most successful guy had adopted what I would consider an advanced position, pushing his face into the TV screen and crossing his legs. Must be some pressure-point shit there somewhere cos he was dead to the world for 15 hours straight. No such luck for me.

Here’s our apartment. It is a weird mix of nice general design and a complete lack of finish. Seems to be a bit of a trend here, whenever the Chinese  in Fuzhou attempt to emulate western architectural design (Which is most of the time) it’s just sort of ALMOST there. Everything looks alright from a distance but don’t look too closely. 5.1 speaker system is the best feature by a long way.

Apartment 302. Dunno what our address is...

Cost of living here is very low for us. We are on about 7000 RMB/Month. A Doctor at our local hospital mentioned during our Working VISA Medical (A whole other story…) he is on 8000 RMB/Month. You can see why people might resent foreigners coming over here! We jumped right into an upper tier wage basically just because we’re native English speakers.

Food is really cheap, it is much cheaper to eat out than to cook. Basically £1 or so for a meal out, maybe £3-4 for a posh meal out. Beer is about 25p a bottle, spirits even cheaper. A popular local spirit is some kind of fortified wine (58%) which you can buy for about £1 a litre (!). You regularly see people walking out of the supermarket with 2.5litre plastic bottles full of the stuff.

It tastes like death.

Gotta to head off, teaching my first lesson shortly.

Next time on MNFN:

– Doing the Chinese governments Working VISA Physical + Mental Health check accompanied by someone having a mental breakdown!

– Trying to watch the Bradford vs Swansea game in the middle of a Chinese club. Might have been a gay bar but we’re not sure, the fashion here makes it impossible to tell.

– Insane construction. (See below)

– Amazing Chinglish tshirts ( ‘Bulemic Crackwhore’ + ‘Ice Cream’ both popular tshirt slogans)

– Terrifying roads.

– Last day of Chinese New Year. Also known as ‘Set fireworks off fucking anywhere Day’.

– Live Seafood, Pissing and Sports-capped Vodka bottles: Chinese Supermarkets.

Later guys!